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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23674576">Baby, Baby</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/followyourenergy/pseuds/followyourenergy'>followyourenergy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Neighborly [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Babies, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Fluff, Happy Castiel/Dean Winchester, Hospitals, M/M, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Parents Castiel and Dean Winchester, references to past abuse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:01:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,606</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23674576</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/followyourenergy/pseuds/followyourenergy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Winchester-Novak loves cuddling with babies. It started as a way to reconnect with humans when he was at his most vulnerable and isolated, back when the world was a frightening place and people weren't to be trusted. Now, he volunteers to snuggle with babies at the hospital because he loves it and because he feels he has something to give back. And give he does, both to a new mom at the hospital and to his own little family at home. </p>
<p>This is a timestamp to the story "Neighborly."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Neighborly [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1704679</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>103</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>355</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Baby, Baby</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Friends! It's the timestamp I never thought I'd write (but clearly hadn't ruled out, either)! This story was prompted by a dear reader who jokingly suggested that writing 20,000 words of Cas cuddling babies would get this story 1,000 kudos in two hours. While I don't expect THAT, I do know that many, many readers love our boys cuddling babies. I thought about writing a completely different story about Cas cuddling babies, but  Cas cuddling babies at the hospital in Neighborly was one of readers' favorite parts of the story (it was certainly a bright spot for me!), so it made sense to write a timestamp. I thoroughly loved revisiting our boys in this 'verse. </p>
<p>My thanks to LanaSerra for reading this over for me to make sure I got our boys just right! Check out her works <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/LanaSerra/pseuds/LanaSerra">here</a>!</p>
<p>I present to you: Cas cuddling lots of babies. :)</p>
<p>*This story is a timestamp to Neighborly. While it's not necessary for you to have read Neighborly to enjoy this story, it will put a lot in context for you. You can find Neighborly <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/15843669">here</a>. Either way, I hope you enjoy this fluffy, feel-good fun!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<p>Castiel Winchester-Novak slumps against the wall of the elevator, exhaustion making his head fuzzy and tingly. He considers this as good a place as any to take a micro-nap...at least until the doors open. </p>
<p>He blinks his eyes open and stands, at full alert now that he’s not alone. It’s an old but still useful habit, though today it’s more to avoid the embarrassment of being caught sleeping in an elevator than because he fears an attack. That’s in the past.</p>
<p>A young woman enters the elevator, a gift bag in her hand. She smiles at him. He returns it with warmth and soft eyes. She glances at the illuminated panel of numbers and doesn’t press any.</p>
<p>They ride to the fourth floor silently.</p>
<p>When the doors slide open, Castiel allows her ahead of him, and soon he realizes they’re going to the same place. He hurries down the hall ahead of her to open the door for her. She smiles at him again, adding a soft “Thanks” as she steps through and turns to her left. He makes his way straight to the nurses’ station to sign in.</p>
<p>“Hi Castiel,” his favorite nurse, Hannah, greets him. She tucks her shoulder-length brown hair behind her ears. “Haven't had enough babies yet?”</p>
<p>“Never,” he grins, though he can’t deny he thought about skipping today, his fatigue nipping at his muscles and irritating his eyes. </p>
<p>“Well, good. Come on in.” </p>
<p>He follows Hannah down the familiar corridor.</p>
<p>There are three babies today, she tells him as he washes his hands thoroughly. He settles into the chair and waits. She returns with a little one who’s bigger than most of the children he holds here. “This is Eleanor,” Hannah introduces the baby. “She was born last week with hypoglycemia. She’s had a bit of a time with it, but she’s doing better. She’s a snugglebug.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I love snugglebugs,” he smiles as he takes her in his arms. </p>
<p>“Her folks just left to take their son out for lunch, so your timing is fantastic.” She grins and leaves him be.</p>
<p>Castiel coos softly as Eleanor gazes at him with big blue eyes. “Hello, Eleanor,” he murmurs. “Thank you for letting me hold you today. Sounds like you like this as much as I do.” He smiles as she yawns. “Looks like you’re just as tired as me, too. I understand. You’ve had a big, busy week. Yes, you have.” He gently rests her body against his chest, puts a receiving blanket over her, and begins to rock. “You know, things may seem rough now, but I know that things are going to get better for you. Know how I know? Because your parents love you, and your big brother loves you, and they’re taking care of themselves so they can take care of you better. And you’re going to get healthier, and soon your parents and brother will be the ones who need sleep because you’ll be running circles around them.” He hums and rocks, not paying attention to the time as he drifts on a happy cloud of baby cuddles. Eleanor grows heavy in his arms, warm and surely sleeping, hopefully dreaming of being big and healthy someday. </p>
<p>His attention is drawn to the door when the young woman he saw earlier enters, another woman following her and Hannah closing the door behind them both. She’s talking to them quietly; the unknown woman looks exceptionally apprehensive, the other, his elevator companion, nervous yet slightly annoyed. </p>
<p>“It’s just about time for Eleanor to eat,” Hannah says as she turns to him. </p>
<p>Castiel recognizes this as his cue. He smiles and nods, then eases the baby from his chest. He traces the lines of her sweet, sleeping face with his eyes. “You are a fighter. You are strong. You will overcome. You already have,” he whispers. He says this to every baby he holds here. It’s a message he had to tell himself many times, too. He’s pleased that he hasn’t had to say it in a long time now. He fought, he stayed strong, he overcame. Now, he doesn’t have to fight, he can let go and be vulnerable, and he can enjoy what he fought for—freedom, safety, family, and love...so much love. It still amazes him sometimes.</p>
<p>Hannah takes Eleanor with a smile. Castiel sits quietly, averting his eyes to give the women in the room some sense of privacy. It’s quiet in the room, despite the machines nearby, and he feels his lids drooping. </p>
<p>A warm hand presses gently on his shoulder. His lids snap open. </p>
<p>“You need a nap?” Hannah teases. He chuckles and sits up a little straighter, stretching his hands toward her. She hands the tiny baby to him carefully. “This is Gabriel.”</p>
<p>“Gabriel,” he smiles.</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>Gabriel has a number of cords and wires branching off him. Hannah doesn’t share what Gabriel’s health issues are, nor does she stick around to help Castiel arrange the various medical gear protruding from the boy. She knows that he knows how to handle these. Castiel thinks he could have some sort of degree in holding medically fragile babies if there were such a thing. He smiles as the baby squeaks and grunts.</p>
<p>“Oh, hello, Gabriel,” he greets him with a chuckle. “Thank you for letting me hold you. You’re as noisy as my brother Gabriel, I see.” </p>
<p>He hums, cupping Gabriel’s head softly as the baby wriggles on his chest. </p>
<p>“And here’s Cora!” Hannah announces as she comes through the door, heading toward the two women. The unknown woman’s face turns petrified, while Elevator Woman’s expression is weary before she puts on a smiling mask of cheerfulness.</p>
<p>“Steph, look, it’s Cora! And look, I got you a wrap to wear to hold her. You can nurse her when she’s ready to do that, and you can carry her around and snuggle her. I saw on a video that we can even tuck the wires in—”</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” the unknown woman—Steph, who appears to be Cora’s mother—murmurs.</p>
<p>“Oh, it’s easy, I promise,” Hannah encourages the woman. She doesn’t take no for an answer as she places the baby in her mother’s arms. The woman holds her stiffly. Elevator Woman holds the wrap awkwardly in her lap. Hannah takes a chair in the corner of the room.</p>
<p>Castiel watches unobtrusively as he continues to rock Gabriel and hum.</p>
<p>Steph looks down at the baby apprehensively. </p>
<p>“Hi, sweetie,” Elevator Woman coos at Cora. Steph tries to hand her off, but the woman won’t take her, joking that Steph’s “not going to break her” and telling her that she’ll “have to learn how to do this.”</p>
<p>Something is wrong with this picture, Castiel thinks. He reconnects with a very old feeling he sees in Steph’s eyes.</p>
<p>“I’d never held a baby in my life when I started volunteering here,” he says to the women from his seat, careful to keep his tone conversational. “In fact, I didn’t even want children. I didn’t think I could take care of them the way they needed.”</p>
<p>Castiel notices the mother’s eyes flick his way. He pretends he doesn’t.</p>
<p>“It wasn’t true, but my self-esteem was in the negative numbers. I’d been through a lot and I was, to put it mildly, a mess. I came here because I needed human contact desperately, and babies were safe for me. Babies and animals were the only ones I trusted.”</p>
<p>Steph says nothing, but there’s recognition in her eyes; they soften marginally. She adjusts her baby in her arms.</p>
<p>Gabriel squeaks again. “What, am I not paying enough attention to you?” He smooths the softest part of his work-roughened hand along Gabriel’s back. “Yes, you tell me what you need, hmm?” He grunts. Castiel chuckles. “You know, you sound more and more like my brother all the time.” </p>
<p>When the baby begins wailing, Castiel places him up on his shoulder, shrugging out of one sleeve first so the fabric isn’t in Gabriel’s face. He stands and begins pacing the room when the upright position and bare shoulder aren’t enough, figuring perhaps some movement would help.</p>
<p>“Cool tattoo,” Steph comments behind him.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” he replies, realizing that his back tattoo is on partial display. He turns toward her. “Would you like to see the rest?”</p>
<p>She nods. He shrugs out of his other sleeve, with Hannah’s help, and faces away from the women so they can see the huge tree that stretches across his back. “The canopy represents my life,” he explains. “That sliver of bare branches was a really bad time in my life. As you can see, I’m doing much better.” He smiles as he thinks about the full, healthy leaves that represent his here and now. “The cardinals are my husband and I.”</p>
<p>“Husband?” Steph repeats.</p>
<p>“Yes.” He holds up his hand to show them the tattooed wedding band on his finger, a tangle of branches. “Two years later this month.”</p>
<p>Elevator Woman offers her congratulations.</p>
<p>“Why cardinals?” Steph asks.</p>
<p>“Because they stay even in winter, when things are at their worst. That’s what he did for me.” Gabriel, who did calm down with Castiel’s movement, starts to squirm, so Castiel shushes him and switches shoulders in an effort to calm the little one once more. “He’s helped me in every way imaginable. I’m very fortunate, very blessed.”</p>
<p>Steph hums. “This is my sister Tammy. She’s helpful, I guess.”</p>
<p>The tone is teasing, so Castiel smiles as he turns around. He makes sure to cover his front as best he can with his arms as he cuddles Gabriel so the women aren’t uncomfortable. “Pleasure to meet you both.”</p>
<p>“You too,” they say together. He notices them peek curiously at his latest tattoo on his pec, now uncovered since he switched Gabriel to his other side, but they don’t comment on it, so he remains quiet on the matter. </p>
<p>Castiel sits and holds a calmer, drowsy Gabriel at arm’s length, looking him squarely in the face. He fits into both of Castiel’s hands easily, with room to spare. “Hello, honey. Hello. Ooh, I see you peeking at me with one squinty little eye. I see you. Yes. Look at you. You have so much to look forward to, don’t you? Yes. I can already tell you’re going to be loud and proud in this world, aren’t you? Yes, you are. Yes.” He grins as Gabriel’s eyes flutter closed. He thumbs at his cheek and says, “You are a fighter. You are strong. You will overcome. You already have, beautiful boy.”</p>
<p>“I swear, you’re like a sedative to these babies,” Hannah praises him as she takes Gabriel.</p>
<p>Castiel rolls his eyes, but jokes, “Is that your polite way of telling me that I’m boring?”</p>
<p>The nurse laughs. “No, it’s my way of telling you how good you are with them, how trusting they are of you.”</p>
<p>“They taught me well.”</p>
<p>She tosses him a smile as she leaves with the boy.</p>
<p>Castiel peeks at the women and Cora out of the corner of his eye as he slips his arms into his shirt. Tammy is stroking Cora’s head. Steph is gazing at the baby, but she’s rolling her lip between her teeth, and she doesn’t look much more comfortable than she did when she started.</p>
<p>Castiel makes a very risky request. </p>
<p>“May I show you how to hold her?”</p>
<p>The pair look up. Slowly, Steph nods.</p>
<p>He scoots beside them, down on one knee. “Hand here and hand here,” he explains. “Just watch that your clothes don’t catch on any of the stuff taped onto her. Then hold her to your heart.”</p>
<p>Steph does as instructed.</p>
<p>“Now breathe nice and slow—in for four, hold for four, out for eight.”</p>
<p>He’s hopeful that the breathing technique his former therapist Mia taught him will help the nervous mom.</p>
<p>“She’s listening to your heartbeat.”</p>
<p>“She’s so small,” Steph whispers, clearly choking back tears. Tammy lays a hand on her shoulder. Castiel says nothing, letting the moment lie. He knows the fear behind it, and he knows she needs to work that out.</p>
<p>Cora begins snuffling, mouthing at her mother’s shirt. “I think she’s hungry,” Castiel smiles.</p>
<p>“I—I don’t know how.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay, Steph, they’ll help you,” Tammy says, then turns to Castiel. “They’re gonna try bottle feeding for the first time today.” </p>
<p>“Oh, that’s a big step for her, isn’t it?” Castiel murmurs as the girl begins to wail. “Lots of changes, lots of chances to learn.”</p>
<p>Hannah arrives like an angel sent to the rescue. “One bottle ready for Ms. Cora,” she smiles. “Figured she’d be getting hungry. Ready to learn, mom?”</p>
<p>“Not really,” she replies, though the tone is fearful rather than oppositional.</p>
<p>“You can do it, I promise. You’re brave, right?”</p>
<p>“No, I’m scared.”</p>
<p>“That’s an essential part of bravery,” Castiel tells her. “Being brave is doing something even when you’re afraid to do it. Trust me on that. I have a lot of experience in being brave. I bet you do, too, if you think about it.”</p>
<p>She flashes him a quick, uncertain smile and nods. Hannah gives her instructions, and after a few mishaps, the mother is feeding her daughter. Castiel recognizes the mix of fear and pride in her eyes as she gazes at her child. He hopes she’ll eventually find her way to feeling safe and secure as a parent and in the world.</p>
<p>“Well, congratulations,” Castiel says, standing and buttoning his open shirt. He watches as Cora works on her bottle. “May I speak to your daughter?”</p>
<p>Steph’s brow furrows, but she agrees. He scooches back down by Cora’s head. Her eyes are closed, but at least she’ll hear him. “Hello, Cora, sweetheart. Thank you for letting me talk to you while you’re busy learning something new. I want you to know that the world is waiting for you. It’s ready for you to take over and make it yours, make it better. To do that, you’ll need to grow up healthy. So eat all the good food you’re given, and play a lot, and learn in school and from everyone around you. Treat yourself well and treat others well. Be brave, not unafraid. Be wise, not hardened. Learn from your mistakes, be kind, and find safe, loving people to rely on. You’re off to a good start already. You are a fighter. You are strong. You will overcome. You already have.” With her mother’s permission, he gently strokes Cora’s hair. She opens her eyes. “Peekaboo,” he whispers with a grin.</p>
<p>With Steph seeming to feel a bit better, he excuses himself so they can finish the feeding in private. He heads down the hall to leave, then thinks better of it and returns to the nurses’ station, asking for paper and a pen. He writes:</p>
<p>
  <em> Dear Steph, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I recognize myself in you, somehow. I don’t know what you’re dealing with, but I know that whatever it is, you will make the right choices for you and Cora if you remember to treat her and yourself lovingly. If you’re not sure or don’t remember how to do that, the person I’ve listed at the end of this note helped me a great deal.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> You are a fighter. You are strong. You will overcome. You already have, Steph. Take good care of yourself. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Sincerely, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Castiel </em>
</p>
<p>He puts his former therapist’s name and number at the end of the note and ducks back into the room, handing her the folded note with a quick, light smile. “Just wanted to give this to you. Good luck,” he says, then turns to Hannah. “See you next week,” he tells her.</p>
<p>“You sure? You are allowed to skip a week, you know.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure.”</p>
<p>She smiles. “Go home to that beautiful family of yours.”</p>
<p>He nods, planning to do just that.</p><hr/>
<p>It’s been a long day for Dean Winchester-Novak. Today he was at the barn, doing equine-assisted psychotherapy. Tomorrow he’ll be at his office, but he’s not a sit-on-his-ass sort of therapist, so he’ll still be beat. Of course, he’s exhausted for other reasons these days, too.</p>
<p>He stops by Sam and Jess’ place and is nearly taken out at the knees by 5-year-old Ava and 2-year-old Tanner, his niece and nephew, and by Sully, their still-feisty Australian Shepherd. “You just missed them,” Jess grins, kissing his cheek. She knows damn well that, though he adores her and her children, he has a different reason for being here. “Cas got his jog in a little earlier, so they left already.”</p>
<p>“Damn.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. You missed your man all sweaty.” Jess winks, then cackles at Dean’s blush. He sneers playfully at her. She knew just what she was doing when she said that, and damn her, it worked, because now he’s thinking of his husband and how good he looks all sweaty. </p>
<p>“Hey,” Sam greets him, looping an arm around his wife’s shoulders. “Are we good for the barbecue tomorrow?”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah. Got all the good stuff.”</p>
<p>“Are you guys making the Zucchini and Black Bean Burgers?”</p>
<p>“Well, yeah,” Dean laughs at his brother, whose eyes are shining. “We know you like ‘em, and we gotta eat, too.” Dean never thought he’d prefer a vegan burger (or vegan anything) to real meat, but his vegan husband changed his carnivorous ways, for the most part. He’ll still eat some calamari with his dad or have a pizza with real cheese once in a while, but it’s rare now.</p>
<p>“Is Uncle Cas making the nuggets?” Ava asks, the same shiny hope in her eyes as her father’s. </p>
<p>“Of course, my little tofu nugget.”</p>
<p>“Yay!” she screeches, jumping around. Tanner joins in the fun, bouncing his knees and flailing his fists in the air. Dean shifts slightly so he doesn’t get nailed in the balls.</p>
<p>“You’ll have to fight me for ‘em, though.”</p>
<p>“Noooo!” she giggles, running away as if he’s trying to steal them from her already. Tanner, her little shadow, runs after her.</p>
<p>“Get yourself home,” Jess urges him, “and give everyone a kiss for me.”</p>
<p>“You got it. See you tomorrow, guys.”</p>
<p>Dean leaves his car in their yard so they’ll have more room for parking at their place tomorrow and hums as he trots the short distance between their houses. He loves having his brother and his family right next door. </p>
<p>The house is quiet except for Cleo’s chirped meow. He leans down and scratches behind her ear, then sneaks to the master bathroom to wash away the stink of the barn. Clean and refreshed after a few minutes, he dries off, dresses in shorts and a ratty t-shirt from his motocross racing days, and ambles down the stairs to find his family. </p>
<p>Spotting them through the glass door, he grins as he quietly steps outside and watches them. They’re in a corner of the large, lush garden, beyond the arch he and Cas were married under. The spot is shady, perfect for the huge garden swing Cas made last summer—more of a bed than a swing, really. They’ve taken some great naps back there. Done a few other fun things, too, Dean remembers fondly. His husband’s back is against one of the arms, cushioned by a floral-print throw pillow. Nyssa, their Irish Setter mix, is snoozing at his feet. Books are scattered on the ground in a semblance of a pile. A glass of lemonade sweats on the side table. All of Cas’ attention, though, is on the bundle in his arms and the conversation he’s carrying on. Dean inches closer and hides behind a nearby arborvitae so he can listen. </p>
<p>“...you know that we will always be here for you. Always. So it’s okay to sleep. Like, really sleep, all through the night. How about it?” He nods down at their daughter, hoping for her agreement, it seems. “Trust us, we’re not going anywhere. So any time you want to sleep through the night, or even four hours straight, that would be wonderful. I promise there will be no excitement happening without you, dearest. You’re not buying it, are you? No, I can tell.” </p>
<p>Cas smiles that soft, adoring curve of lips that never fails to melt Dean’s heart and make him feel goofy, even now. There was a time when a genuine, unguarded smile was hard to coax from Cas. No more. And Cas pointing that smile at their daughter, holding her and speaking to her so sweetly, turns him into mush. Either one of them could ask him for the moon right now and he’d figure out a way to get it for them. </p>
<p>Cas holds her hand like the princess she is, one finger all that’s needed to support it. He kisses it, then kisses it again. “I should tell you how Daddy and I met,” he tells her, shifting her in his arms a bit so he can see her face better. “I was very scared of almost everybody because some bad things happened to me and my boo-boos hadn’t healed yet. Auntie Jess asked me to dogsit Sully—you love Sully and your Auntie Jess, huh?—and there was Daddy. He had some bad boo-boos, too, but a different kind. He was so happy and so nice to me, and he was so silly and handsome. He helped me make all my boo-boos better. And whenever you get boo-boos, we’re going to help you make them better, okay? I promise. No boo-boos right now, though.” He makes a surprised face at her, then wiggles his tongue against his lips to make funny sounds that Dean knows are making her smile that gummy grin that makes all the sleep-disturbed nights worthwhile. He grins toothily in return, then continues, “You know, they say that girls marry someone like their dad. I don’t know who you’ll fall in love with, but I hope they’re just as good as your Daddy. Just don’t make them wait as long as I made Daddy wait for me, huh?”</p>
<p>“What he didn’t tell you is how he was totally worth waiting for,” Dean calls, emerging from behind the arborvitae and loping toward them. </p>
<p>Cas turns. “Oh, were you standing there?” he asks with a knowing grin. “I had no idea.”</p>
<p>Dean chuckles, that look of unfettered affection directed at him making Dean walk a little faster. “Hey sweetheart,” he says when he reaches his husband.</p>
<p>“Hello, dear heart,” Cas smiles, then laughs as Nyssa inserts herself between them so that Dean may lavish proper greetings upon her first. When she’s satisfied, Cas takes his hand and pulls him down onto the swing for his own proper greeting. </p>
<p>Dean hums against his lips. His husband is shirtless and smells like chlorine from the pool. God, he wants him <em> bad. </em> Cas must feel it in his kiss, because he chuckles. “I can’t help it,” Dean whines. “You drive me crazy, sweetheart.” </p>
<p>“If our daughter would sleep more regularly, I could drive you even crazier,” Cas purrs, low and dark and <em> damn</em>. </p>
<p>Groaning, Dean takes the other love of his life from Cas’ arms. “Kiri, not sleeping for Papa again?”</p>
<p>“She slept for Jess, of course,” Cas mutters without heat. “Hannah said today that she was impressed with my ability to put the babies at the hospital to sleep. I didn’t tell her that I’m an utter failure at it at home.”</p>
<p>Dean glances at him and grins, then gazes at their adorable, angelic girl who could never do anything wrong, ever. “Aww, that’s just because Papa’s so awesome. Yes he is, isn’t he? Who wouldn’t want to stay awake and stare at him and listen to him and snuggle with him? Those are some of my favorite activities.” </p>
<p>“You’re buttering me up for something.” Cas turns to his right to curl into Dean’s side.</p>
<p>“Nah.” Dean wraps his arm around him. His eyes fall to the tattoo on his husband’s pec—a black-and-white nest with a female cardinal fledgling in color for their little Kiri. Her name is woven within the branches of the nest, just as their names are woven into their matching wedding band tattoos. Dean has the same tattoo. “I just love you and I like to remind you sometimes.” Cas smiles at him adoringly and strokes his face, making him sigh in contentment. “How was your day?”</p>
<p>“Good. Worked for a while, then went to the hospital to see the babies, then stopped back at Jess' to get Kiri but she was sleeping, so I went for a jog. Kind of hot for it, but figured I should get it in while I could. Saw Benny on my way through the neighborhood. He’s looking about as zombified as we are.”</p>
<p>Dean snickers. After being told they couldn’t have children years ago, they were shocked when Andrea became pregnant last year. They had their daughter six weeks ago, just a couple of weeks after Charlie gave birth to Kiri for them. “I bet. They’re still coming tomorrow for the barbecue, though, right?”</p>
<p>“Oh yes.”</p>
<p>“Good. How are the babies?”</p>
<p>“Good.”</p>
<p>Dean studies his husband, not liking the too-casual smile and tone of voice. “What happened?”</p>
<p>“Nothing really,” he sighs. “Just...had a bit of a blip.”</p>
<p>A blip usually means that he was reminded of his shitty past with his ex-wife. “You okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” </p>
<p>Cas reaches for Kiri; Dean hands her over, kissing her face repeatedly as he does and making her smile. She’s relaxed and content. Dean doesn’t worry about Cas upsetting her, because he knows that Cas wouldn’t ask for her if he was too upset. Protecting her is his number one priority. </p>
<p>“So what happened, sweetheart?”</p>
<p>“I had a run-in with past me.” He chuckles humorlessly, nuzzling Kiri. It’s hard to remember a time when Cas thought he was a danger to everyone he met and vice versa, a time when he was too frightened to even consider having a pet, never mind a child. </p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“There was a woman there, a mom. She looked terrified to hold her child. I don’t know what her trauma was, but there was something there that reminded me of myself. It was...unsettling. I think about where I was a few years ago, who I was, and it scares the hell out of me to think I could’ve stayed there.”</p>
<p>“But you didn’t, babe,” Dean reminds him, pressing a kiss to his hair. “You worked hard.”</p>
<p>Cas agrees and adds, “You never gave up on me, even when I gave you so many reasons to.”</p>
<p>“One, you didn’t give up on yourself, two, you didn’t give me a single reason to give up on you, and three, I told you I wouldn’t and I meant it.”</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>Cas’ eyes begin to drift; Dean brings him back with a gentle hand on his face. He can see the fatigue in his eyes; it’s when he’s stressed or tired that he’s the most vulnerable to these sorts of doubts. “And I never will, because I love you, Cas. And you’re not going backwards, okay? You’re safe, you have family, you’re loved. It was a blip, that’s all.”</p>
<p>“I know.” He squeezes Kiri a little closer. “I talked about my own experience a bit, showed her the tattoo. Gave her Mia’s number.”</p>
<p>“Good. You did good, babe.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, dear heart.”</p>
<p>Dean urges Cas to lie down flat on the swing. “Let’s sleep a little, huh? Twenty minutes. Then I’ll make dinner.”</p>
<p>It takes less than two minutes for Cas to fall asleep, and Kiri closes her eyes within seconds. Dean doesn’t sleep. Instead, he watches, the deep love and devotion he has for them tugging at his chest and tear ducts. His family is right here, safe and sound. To think about how far they’ve all come, particularly Cas, is nothing short of astounding. All the pain, the fear, the fights, the waiting—totally worth it. </p>
<p>Tomorrow they’ll have their friends over for what’s become the annual Independence Day party. People will be using the pool and traipsing around the house that Cas refinished beautifully with his own hands. Next weekend they’ll hand Kiri over to her auntie and uncle so they can have a night alone for their anniversary, a night they’ll probably use to catch up on their sleep (followed by a morning of blowing his husband’s mind, he hopes). But tonight, right now, is for their little family. It’s a night they’ve more than earned.</p>
<p>Dean lets his mind wander until it’s simply floating on snippets of songs and memories and to-do lists. He smooths a finger along Kiri’s cheek when her eyes flutter open, not as ready for sleep as he’d hoped. He’s beginning to think she’s part cat for all the cat naps she takes. “Wanna go make dinner with Daddy?” he asks her softly. He makes snuffling pig noises onto her belly as he picks her up. Cas frowns in his sleep, instinctively reaching out to protect her. It’s what he does, who he is. “Just me, sweetheart,” he murmurs. “I have Kiri. You sleep.” He watches in satisfied contentment as his husband does just that, his body sinking into the cushion. Not even Nyssa scrambling down from the swing disturbs him. Cas feels well and truly at peace here, fully trusting. Even after all these years, Dean still doesn’t take that for granted. Cas’ trust is a privilege.</p>
<p>Dean doesn’t bother to wake Cas when dinner is ready, simply keeping a plate warm in the oven for him. He eats quickly, then gives Kiri her bath. When Cas shuffles into her room while he’s dressing her, his hair adorably mussed and his arms extended, Dean doesn’t even try to argue. He hands over their freshly-bathed and pajamaed daughter for her bottle and snuggles. </p>
<p>“Did you eat?” Dean asks.</p>
<p>Cas shakes his head slowly, all of his attention on the infant in the crook of his arm.</p>
<p>Dean rolls his eyes fondly. Nothing comes before Kiri’s needs, and absolutely nothing interrupts snuggle time. They walk to the master bedroom, where Kiri still sleeps despite having a room of her own. He watches cross-legged from the floor as Cas sits in a rocker he made and talks to her while he feeds her, telling her about the time they rescued a bird with a broken wing and how she should always be kind to every living thing. Dean has no doubt she will be. She has good role models.</p>
<p>When he’s done with “Papa’s Parables,” as Dean affectionately calls the little bits of wisdom Cas shares with their two-month-old, Cas simply stares at her for a while. Dean kisses his temple and takes her bottle as he walks out, sensing that maybe Cas needs a little time alone with her after his encounter at the hospital. He ambles downstairs to clean the bottle and to put away Cas’ dinner—he doesn’t want it to dry out, and Cas will reheat it if he feels like eating—then settles on the couch to read.</p>
<p>A few minutes later, Cas pokes his head around the corner and calls him with an insistent finger. Dean follows, wondering if this is a “you have to come see how cute she’s being” sort of beckoning or a “help, she won’t settle down” sort. He follows Cas into their bedroom, expecting to see her in her bedside bassinet. </p>
<p>She’s not there.</p>
<p>“Cas—”</p>
<p>“Close the door.”</p>
<p>He does. “Where’s Kiri?”</p>
<p>“In her crib. Sleeping. Who knows for how long, but she’s sleeping.”</p>
<p>“In her crib? Why not here in—”</p>
<p>Cas closes the space between them and grabs his shirt in both hands. “Because I want to <em> cuddle</em>...baby.”</p>
<p>Cas only calls him “baby” during sex. </p>
<p>
  <em> Hell yes. </em>
</p>
<p>Dean’s certain they’ve never had sex this desperately, this longingly, this...quickly. It’s over within minutes, something that might have been disappointing pre-baby (though he <em> never </em> takes sex for granted) but is just fine for now. They collapse into each other’s arms, spent, trading presses of lips that barely qualify as kisses for how soft and breathy they are. </p>
<p>“We should clean up,” Cas murmurs, wholly unconvincing.</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>But like the responsible parents they are, they eventually do, taking turns showering and Dean changing the sheets and throwing in a load of laundry while Cas eats. When they meet up again, Cas is carrying Kiri. “She’s fidgety,” he whispers. “Growth spurt, maybe?”</p>
<p>“Maybe,” Dean agrees. “Come on.”</p>
<p>They cuddle in bed together, Cas’ arms around Kiri and Dean’s arms around Cas. Not to be left out, Nyssa and Cleo both join them. A thin sheet and the shadows of nightfall cover them. Crickets chirp outside the window. Sleep summons Dean, and he knows he needs to answer the call. They have a big day tomorrow. Before he answers, though, he takes one more minute to appreciate what he has—a safe, happy home, Cleo and Nyssa, Cas cuddling Kiri tenderly. It’s a fucking miracle, a collision of chances and choices that have led to this perfect moment in time, and he’s grateful. </p>
<p>“I love you, Cas,” he whispers. He’s sleeping, but that’s okay. More than okay. It’s part of the miracle.</p>
<p>Dean moves Kiri into her bassinet, then slides back into bed. Cas sighs, stretching out his arms. He drapes one hand over the edge of the bedside bassinet to find Kiri’s hand, then takes Dean’s hand in the other. </p>
<p>Holding hands. It’s still their thing. Dean grins and kisses his husband once more before drifting off to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you all for reading and for all your support! I hope you enjoyed this!</p>
<p>If you’re curious, Kiri means “tree bark,” which was their little homage to Cas’ tree tattoo.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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